The proverbial next step

​Why is it that we are always thinking of the next step and not watch the step we are taking now?? Is it the the natural instinct of the caveman to secure the future, to manage survival, to be avoiding a catastrophe. Who knows???

Most of the times it is just for the thrill of it, to do something unexpected, adventurous, to explore that side of you that you feel can be challenged, to look for something that lies hidden in the future.

We all are just seekers in the grand scheme of things, we want to know what lies ahead and what can we experience from it. We want to be wild and cautious at the same time, something like to have the best of all worlds. Isn’t it funny man is never satisfied in the moment he is just hankering for the future. What is in the future that doesn’t exist now?? It beats me completely, your life in comparison to someone is always better or worse. But why compare in the first place, your life is different than the other so the better or worse is just relative.

If we just learn to be content in this moment, life will become a wonderful place to be in and not this constant struggle to seek the better that lies hidden in the unknown future.

Here and now is how life is not there and later !!!

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The point in nowhere

Aren’t we all moving towards something that we don’t quite understand fully? We all have goals, a destination, a purpose or whatever we might want to call it. Though once we achieve it, doesn’t it feel all too futile and maybe even unnecessary?

We are just like the earth, an object moving with such great speed around something, something that we can’t fathom or even reach out to. The only difference is the earth, the sun and all that comprises of the universe is everything and nothing at the same time. Yes science proves it’s existence but science also now proves that there is really no matter just energy. So the forms and shapes we create are maybe just a function of the collective thought process of humanity. Or maybe not. Who knows

Till then let’s all just head toward that point in nowhere. Feeling a little happy if we get to it, or a little sad if we don’t.

The abstractness of life is the beauty of it, try and not box it in any definition or meaning. Let it just be that, nothing and everything at the same time

Heartbreak

What would you do when your heart breaks?? Some brood, some cry, some go silent, some go violent. Then again some go poetic and create masterpieces, not knowing a bit while they create, that the anguish of their heartbreak, becomes a respite for millions to find solace in.

Such is the power of the word that emanates from the heart, ironic that oftentimes the words emerges only when the heart breaks or is it the law of nature just as the cocoon breaks and the beautiful butterfly comes forth in all its beauty.

Though does it really matter, sometimes it’s best to leave certain things as mysteries, not knowing and not wanting to know. Savouring just the solace of a poem and the serenity in watching the butterfly, no trappings, no hidden plan, just following its true nature.

Khwaish

Sochta hu kahi nikal jaata hu
Rasta apne aap manzil mey badal deta hu 
Itna aasan nahi hai mere Mann ne kaha
Wahi rukh gaye mere pair Maine kuch na kaha
Khwaish thi ki aisa ek aashiyana dhoondo jisme sab amal se rahe
Bhool gaya tha woh aashiyana mere dil mey hi rahe
Ab sirf intezaar hai kuch doston ka Jo bhatak gaye hai rah chalte chalte

That is all that will do !!

Yes I am afraid, that won’t do
Yes I am fearful, that won’t do
Yes I am tired, that won’t do
Yes I am hurt, that won’t do
Yes I am crying, that won’t do 
Yes I am broke, that won’t do
Yes I am angry, that won’t do
Yes I am bitter, that won’t do
Yes I am hateful, that won’t do
Yes I am losing, that won’t do
Yes I am lost, that won’t do
Yes I am desperate, that won’t do
Yes I am breathing, that is all that will do

“The breath is all that there is and then it is not”

Beautiful life…(or is it)

The beauty of life is such that it makes you feel utterly naked. Even while recognising all that there is to life, expressing and accepting it, takes so much courage.

A courage that when expressed liberates the one exuding it though often hurting all that comes in the way. Does it make sense to express it at all then????

Truth be told, yes it is good to express it, as it’s “good for you” not necessarily good for others.
How does one get out of this quandary??? Well there is no way out at all, the way is only inwards, because all that is “without” it comes together”within”.

Hearts will break, egos will surge when the truth comes to light, after that there is just silence, a silence laced with grief, joy and everything that lies in between.

So the question is,  is courage good?? But then again it is said “discretion is better part of valour”. Does discretion then mean hiding, lying, finding a middle path that is secretive. Who knows?? Well only you know:-)

Nothing really is a secret that has manifest in the world. Only an unexpressed thought is secret. Would you want that thought to die with you as a secret? It is your choice after all isn’t it.

Why do people lie, because someone dear to them is not ready to accept the truth as it is. Oh, how complicated do we make this human existence. Is this what goes on in minds with suicidal tendencies, they must be wondering if “this/these” person(s) didn’t understand me, what’s the point of living at all, it’s best ended.That is still not the answer though.

The popular adage says “you can’t make everyone happy”, you should think of your happiness first. People who do exactly that, are often labeled as selfish buggers, how ironic isn’t it.

There is so much to rant and continue, though enough for today.

The Divine is you and you are divine

Whatsoever a man has its never enough, there is always a hunger for more. More than hunger it seems like a sense of greed that emanates from jealousy of seeing others having more (presumably) more than you. This jealousy creates a vicious cycle of anxiety and it manifests itself as anger and resentment for self and also others. 

The anger is so outwardly projected that everything that one sees appears to be against it, as if the whole of creation has conspired to make you lose and wallow in self-grief. It destroys everyone and everything around you.

The only way to break this cycle is recognising that everything that you hanker about is nothing but a mirage. It creates a dream like existence that seems so very real, that you go in the mode of mine and yours, making everything separate from one another.

The truth is that all is connected, it has to be there is no other truth.

Drop that dreamy ego of yours and return to your true self expression – the divine is you and you are the divine.

Stories…… Factual Fiction

It seems that it was time for him to switch gears, thought Sam. He had been contemplating what to do with his life for quite some time now. He recalled growing in an idyllic suburb of Mumbai city(then Bombay) life seemed like such a drag. Slow, but not necessarily dull. He and his bunch of besties were a motley crew of mischief mongers, albeit, all in good spirit. Suddenly, he broke into a grin remembering how they had stolen fruits from a neighbors yard and the old lady had come screaming with a stick, to beat the hell out the kids. Hahahahah, what a magical moment it was, stealing fruits. Was this going to be his passion for life, stealing hearts instead of fruits, it most certainly looked like that when he traced back how his life had panned out, he brushed aside these thoughts, to be maybe visited some other day.

He came out of the trance and was pacing up and down the corridor, well the pacing was mental, in his head, he never liked to exert himself physically at all, unless of course it was for pleasure. He kept thinking, what was is that he should be doing next?? What was it, that was so clear, yet eluding him that he couldn’t grasp it to make it a reality. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he saw vision of a courtroom of a king, more like a darbar. “the wise shall rule the world, only if the fool can be contained” he saw himself adorned in ancient garb of a royal advisor, telling his King. The king though was the fool he was referring to in his advise. Precisely at the same moment, the royal advisor was transfixed in a thought, what should I do next with my life, is it to be wasted in doling out advise to people who least understand its value??. Sam could not understand what he had just experienced, was it a hallucination, was he going nuts. 

The question remained the same, lingering in his head, What next? What am I pre-ordained to do, did the answer lie with the ancient advisor, or was the advisor waiting for the answer too, just like Sam.

Words…..Sword

Two words made up of exactly same letters and boy do they relate to each other. It is so well known and common sense that words spoken in a harsh, condescending manner can pierce and tear one apart like a sword. Yet, time and again, we do the same mistake of speaking in a harsh way, and its not just words, it is the tone that gets you.

How can one possibly speak to a human being in such a manner, can’t people think before they even speak? and how does it really help,  even if it is done with good intention, we end of scarring the listener forever for life. Are we so filled with rage and hate and bottled up resentment that we speak ever so harshly. I just don’t get it, be firm, be stern, don’t be rude and harsh, it won’t help your cause anyway.

And imagine if the other responds equally harshly, then a petty thing turns into a lifelong struggle, which has no apparent value.

Why do we do this time and again? I think it is all the matter of the ego, that drives us to do the unthinkable, its about time we ring fence it and tell the ego to shut up.

Somewhere along the journey….

So I am now 43 years old on this planet….it has been an incredible journey thus far..and am looking forward to the ride ahead as well. Though it would be worth pondering upon the journey that has been…it fascinates me to look back and reconcile with who I am. Yes, Who I am not Who am I? as an inquiry.

Somewhere along this journey I came across masters who have guided my soul in the direction that I so most seek. Never did they say  one thing is right over the other, all they said was be yourself, and boy is it tough to be that. Yes it is the most easiest and most difficult thing at the same time. Gifted with words and a flair for speaking I have always and will always love conversations, generally in which I speak the most, that is purely because I have been graced with good listeners around me and when the listeners weren’t there I started having monologues with myself and observing myself. The effect of that is, I have grown silent, does everything need to be said, does everything need to be expressed, does everything need to be explained, guess not. As I start the journey inwards, I am pulled inside with such rapid force that I like the new ride. It seems odd, for I am so scared of roller coaster rides and the inward journey is one roller coaster ride that makes you go utterly silent. The falls and rises are steep and they scrap deep within, the joy though is so calming, blissful.

So somewhere along this 43 years, I feel I have experienced an eternal life, that is perpetual…why then bother celebrating birthdays on this planet, living is the biggest celebration.

Joy to you all !!!